I rent a house in Uptown Minneapolis, with a renovated kitchen, coin operated laundry, and tall ceilings. I own a Honda, a rice cooker, and a collection of novels, only some of which I’ve read to the end. I have trouble feeling awake in the mornings before a good brew, and rarely am I able to bake cookies without burning the bottoms of them. Sometimes, days go by before I get around to opening my mail or acknowledging a big girl decision that needs attending to. I sometimes wear scarves, even when it’s warm outside. My parents raised me and my siblings in a mid-sized home in the burbs. They have a new dog, but I miss the old one.
By day, I write, Facebook, Tweet, design, and market. Away from the office, I’m a writer, reader, dreamer, thinker… a friend, daughter, sister and more. I guess you could say I’m a typical (yet sometimes, far from typical) 24-year-old, learning day-by-day how and where I’m meant to fit in this big, beautiful, complicated world of ours.
I’ve always loved New Year’s Day because it honors the belief in second chances, in better days and in striving towards a better future self. 2013 was an exciting, eye-opening, challenging, confusing and life-altering year, all at once.
For years, I’ve tended to view my progression through life as if I’m moving across intricately-placed stepping stones, spaced out along a long, winding path that’s leading me towards who I’m meant to be. And I continuously remind myself that all my actions, whether good, bad, purposeful, or accidental, will significantly influence who I am and will be today, tomorrow, next Sunday, next January 1st…
I’m at an exciting time in my life: one at which I feel the stones in my path are easy to pick up, morph, and move around. But at the same time, I struggle with embracing the unknown.
I have these childhood memories of my dad taking my sister and I to games at the fields by our house. And how as fall approached, and the temperatures began to drop, the three of us would brace ourselves as we sat down on the venue’s cold, metal seats. Only after time would the seats begin to feel warm.
I feel like I started this year in that cold, metal seat. Everything that was new to my life felt uncomfortable, cold, and foreign. But as I’ve spent time in these new places, I’ve adapted, and things have begun to feel warmer and more comfortable.
I’ve always been a dreamer, and I’ve always aimed to make my life choices based on my ideas as to whom I want to be. And while I’m proud to be driven - I recognize that at times, I’m holding myself back. I get so wrapped up in what COULD BE that I forget to appreciate what IS.
So there’s just one New Year’s resolution that I’m making this year. In 2014, I’m striving to live in the present. I want to appreciate each day as it is and to evaluate it, not based on what I want it to be like someday, but based on what it is TODAY. I want to reflect on each day for the joy it brings, the lessons it teaches and the opportunities it presents to grow, change and become my best self.
Earlier today, I read an excerpt from a novel by James Gordon Gilkey that resonated with me - and relates to this new resolution of mine:
"We should make ourselves stop trying to explain our own difficulties. Our first impulse is to try to account for them, figure out why what has happened did happen … (But) many of life’s hard situations cannot be explained. They can only be endured, mastered and gradually forgotten. Once we learn this truth, and once we resolve to use all our energies managing life rather than trying to explain life, we take the first and most obvious step toward significant accomplishment.”
I’m going to stop worrying so much about where my stepping stones are leading me to, let them morph and move naturally, and trust that all will work out as I experience life to its fullest, each and every day.
Thank you for visiting my page. Thank you for reading. I’m so looking forward to spending more of my time in 2014 in this lovely, virtual space.